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Burr Morse
Morse Farm Maple Sugarworks
Montpelier, VT
www.morsefarm.com
June 10, 2005
Hello again maple people,
I normally keep this column non-political but something has come up that I can't ignore: there's a Vermont state senator who's proposing a tax on sugar. Sugar! Sugar's one of our unalienable rights even though the writers of the Declaration of Independence forgot to put it on their list; blasphemous oversight, I say! You see 12 years before the Declaration,
King George the 2nd tried to mess with sugar and that caused some hard feelings. Then George the 3rd picked on tea and things went to hell-in-a-hand basket. Well, there was a war--you know how it goes--and we were finally in charge of our own dietary essentials, along with a little "Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness." Next we added a few freedoms, you know, Speech, Press, Religion, etc. but, by gosh, they forgot to add Sugar to that list, too! Somehow, however, we've kept our undocumented Sugar Right intact all these years in spite of a few "King George" types of our own--until now, that is.
This senator wants to tax sugar and says she's serious. Here's her tragic rationale: "My favorite tax to pay for health care has always been the junk food tax. I have refined that idea and I would like to place a tax on all foods that have some kind of sugar listed on the first four ingredients on the label. I don't think there are many folks who will argue that all the sugar we consume is good for us." I beg to differ, Senator, for one thing sugar is not "junk food!" It's our Right. I hereby call on all loyal chocoholics, Ben and Jerry-o-philes, and, especially, lovers of Maple, the Holiest of Sugars. Will we stand for this--I SAY NO!!! Rise up, my fellow Vermonters, put down this tyranny FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!
I'm sorry, slap, slap...I got carried away...but, really, the senator is flawed in her thinking. Sure, there are some abuses of sugar. I mean, if you drink a case of Pepsi each week, or eat the equivalent in Twinkies, you're abusing sugar (when you go to feed the cows, do
you feed 'em the whole barn full?). I say sugar's good if you work it off, but
folks these days are leaving out the "work" part. We used to have hayin' to do, cows to milk, and wood to split--wood to split--reminds me of my friend, Mac, who is a real
Vermonter. He's a healthy, retired IBMer who's got more projects than you could shake a splitting maul at. His neat ranch house sits at the edge of a wooded lot over in Richmond, Vermont and a handsome woodpile stands in his backyard. I asked him once why he had a woodpile, since he spends every winter in Florida.
"You know, Burr," he said, oozing wisdom, "It just don't seem American to not have a
woodpile." Wow...such profound words, no doubt sweetened with plenty of sugar. You see, Mac works it off. He accepts his Sugar Right with discipline and that's what we all need to understand: if we're more moderately taxed and more generously encouraged to do the right thing, we'll stay healthier. We all need a "woodpile of our own," built with hard work and a good attitude.
I've considered organizing a protest over at Burlington Harbor. We'd dump tons of sugar into the harbor and probably write some history, you know, the famous Burlington Sugar Party of 2005, but I'm sick of harsh protests like that. Lets just have a good old fashioned pancake breakfast. I'll invite the senator and we'll talk it over. We'll have coffee (I take mine with two teaspoons of sugar, thank you), buttermilk and honey (that's h-o-n-e-y) pancakes. We'll top the pancakes with real butter and, of course, cascades of Vermont maple syrup. After breakfast we'll all split and stack wood for an hour. I think the senator will see the light--sugar's our Right, plus it sure helps with the Pursuit of Happiness.
Speaking of happiness, Father's Day is coming up. We've got a lot of things in our store that fathers all over the USA would love (call 1-800-242-2740 to find out about them all). I'm especially thinking of fudge. Did you know that Morse Farm has the best fudge in the World? I'd like you to find that out for yourself, so here's the deal I'm offering: between now and Father's Day, Billi's Fudge is on sale for 1/2 price by the 1/2 pound! Billi Austin makes our fudge. She's the sister of Barb Smith, our manager. We believe in keeping it all in the family here at Morse Farm Maple Sugarworks. That's why we're a little partial to affaires like Father's Day. To help us track the success of this offer, please type FUDGE into the "promotion code" box of your order form. You can find Billi's Fudge at http://www.morsefarm.com/products.tmpl?category=specials The fathers in your life will love you even more if you give them some Billi's Fudge!
Don't get over-taxed,
Burr
====================================================If you want to get off my email list please just click on the link below,enter your email address, and hit UNSUBSCRIBE. No hard feelings. ;-)
We ship world wideCall to order: 1-800-242-2740If you want to stay on this list, just do nothing and I'll send you a littlebit of "News from Vermont" every now and then... that is, when I'm not toobusy in the woods.Of course you can always find us at: www.morsefarm.comAnd we always answer our phone (we're funny that way) 1-800-242-2740.Again, thanks for being interested in Morse Farm Maple Sugar.
-Burr
